


I'm a Motherfucking Checkerboard Bro

by microphoneMessiah



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Hairspraystuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-08
Updated: 2012-04-08
Packaged: 2017-11-03 07:24:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/378815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/microphoneMessiah/pseuds/microphoneMessiah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wanted Hairspraystuck and no one would give it to me.</p><p>Gamzee is tied up in his bedroom due to the fact he lied to his insane, religious nut of a father. Tavros comes to bust him out. No one sings about ivory towers are plushy junk food snacks, but Gamzee does get to taste chocolate and is never going back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm a Motherfucking Checkerboard Bro

Given the fact that you’re currently tied to a bed with the colorful jump rope from when you were a teensy little motherfucker while being forced to listen to god awful religious music, you can’t say you’re all up and feeling how things turned out.  
A few weeks ago your very best friend decided that he was the only decent and “actually fucking capable” candidate to replace one of the dancers on your favorite motherfucking after school show. Of course, they had tried to shut your bro down because his bloodline or something wasn’t as fancy as the others people trying out. Honestly, you were pretty stoned at the time, so all you can remember is dancing and something about Madam Baltimore. Dunno. They do a lot of dancing and singing with this fly host guy named D. Corny Strider. Plus, once a month they have this whole day for the people with darker skin than yours, though your pretty sure your dad isn’t too pleased by it. He’d probably get his tits all uncalm and shit if you told him that you thought one of the dancers was one of the cutest motherfuckers you ever saw, but you aren’t sure if that’s because the motherfucker is tan as toast or if it’s because he’s a bro. Your dad cares about the weirdest shit.

You glance around the room and try to tug with your arms again. This rope is tied pretty tight and you’re just about sure your silly ass is staying right here for the rest of the night.

That is, until you hear a hesitant tap on the window.

Your eyes zoom over at a million miles per hour and you think you can see the tuft of a mohawk behind the glass.

Tavros.

You’ve never probably grinned this wide before.

The next thing you know your new favorite motherfucker is carefully opening the window as if he’s afraid alarms are going to go off and he’ll be attacked by security. It takes awhile but eventually he opens it enough to shimmy his way in and promptly faceplant into your plush, violet carpet. He looks over at you nervously, glancing between your face and the floor, unsure of what to say.

“ajsdwuhwnkla!” You try to get out, but you then remember that your dad had tied some cloth around your mouth and that idea just wasn’t going to work. You try to awkwardly fidget around enough to give him the clue to untie you. 

After a few moments of just staring at your face with this adorable confused look on his face, his mouth forms a perfect “o” and he rushes over to undo your rope.

Thank the Messiahs for this motherfucking miracle.

“Gamzee! Where’s Karkat? When I got back to the record store I saw the news and they’re having a man-hunt!” You can hear the quiver in his voice even though he’s talking a mile a minute. “I’m just glad you’re safe.” And he has has this sweet, little smile playing on his lips as he says it. You probably don’t need much else in the world, you decide, besides that smile.

He gets you untied and you just decide to pull him down on to you, staggering ungracefully back onto your bed. His face is surprised now and you can tell he’s trying to stop the blush you see forming.

It just makes you grin more.

You bump your nose against him and just stare into his eyes, watching your teeth shine in them. And now he’s smiling brighter too and awkwardly attempting to crane his neck forward, unsure and rigid.

You decide to meet him halfway.

Your mouths smash together and it almost hurts because maybe you shouldn’t have moved your head so fast? But it still feels motherfucking perfect with your heart beating at some wicked speed it ain’t never reached before. In fact, you’re pretty sure that shit all up and exploded and that the explosion was the fireworks all of your best friend’s movies talked about. Nothing but you, Tav, and a whole chest of burning light, sparkling through everything.

Honestly, you want to ignore the fact you’re on you’re sister’s old, lace-y bed and that you’re dad was playing some horrible music by his favorite religious rap group, Insane Clown Posse. You really want to ignore the fact that said musically-whacked out dad was downstairs and could come up to check on you at any minute.

You want to ignore all that and really kiss this motherfucker all up and proper, make sure he really understands how much you’ve been digging him and how you motherfucking love his skin color and everything he decides to all up and be being. Taste every single inch of his sweet little mouth while you run your fingers through that fuzzy stripe of hair on his head. Run your fingers up his side and whisper secrets to him. Tell him that no one is going to motherfucking hurt him while he’s at your side. Hold his hands. Just, just hold him close to you like he’s your only source of air in the entire universe and just as precious. Kiss his nose, his ears, his eyebrows, his forehead, and whatever else he all up and lets you.

You feel like your supposed to sing now. Some song about ivory towers and cake-type snacks while doing a dance around your room.

But you can’t. You can’t because you have a best friend on the run from the law for assaulting a police officer with a lisp and you just can’t leave an old bro hanging.

**Author's Note:**

> You may wonder why Gamzee is Penny and Tavros is Seaweed. 
> 
> My answer?
> 
> For the lolz.


End file.
